My New Drug of Choice

Yesterday was my birthday and I got absolutely and completely intoxicated.  By the time I went to sleep, the world was spinning and I was giddy and flying high.  In past birthdays, my drug of choice might have been wine or, on really wild birthdays, vodka.  But, let's be serious.  I turned 38 years old.  The days of putting on my cutest jeans, my highest heels, and lots of eye makeup so that I could celebrate my birthday well into the morning of the next day are loooooooong gone.  As they should be.  This year, I celebrated by consuming mass quantities of happiness.  I had strong shots of joy that rivaled tequila in terms of instant intoxication. And on this morning after, I still feel the sweet, heady buzz that came with all the kindness that was flying around.

I just sifted through the tweets, facebook posts, private messages, instagram photos, and texts and I think I have come up with a grand total of 80 separate acts of kindness that occurred yesterday.  That is just what I know about.  I'd like to believe that those 80 acts of kindness inspired others to pay it forward too.  I'm not anything close to a mathematician, but even without doing the actual math I think we can safely say that we created a mini revolution of love and kindness yesterday.  

Building Community

The use of the word "we" was intentional.  This may have been my birthday and I might have been the initial catalyst this for this one particular baby revolution of love and kindness.  But, it took all of us to make this actually happen.  I have been involved in umpteen community building initiatives throughout my career.  I have gone to week long institutes and gone to countless training sessions in an effort to figure out how to build community and we did it in the span of 24 hours.  

I get teased all the time for being being too "kumbayah" for words.  I have gotten into arguments with friends who felt I was naive and foolish to believe in the universality of good intentions.  I'm no fool.  I know that there are countless examples of the worst in humanity out there.  I know that the worst resides in each of us.  I have been that person.  So have you.  But yesterday is proof to the cynics and the pessimists that goodness and kindness can win.  We can pull together and build community that is caring, compassionate, generous, and absolutely non-partisan.   

Does Motivation Matter?

As I was basking in the glow of goodness with a colleague after school, he reminded me about the Friends episode where Joey argues that there are no selfless good deeds and Phoebe tried to prove Joey wrong.  I am going to be completely and utterly honest.  My initial motivations for creating this "event" were completely selfish.  I was losing hope.  I was feeling down.  I was (am?) having an identity crisis.  I wanted to feel better and I knew that having hard proof that the world was not as hard and unkind as it had felt for so long would be an antidote to that gloominess.  I suspect others were feeling the same.  As the day unfolded, we were all giving each other virtual pats on the back and congratulating each other for the various good deeds that were occurring.  Posting good deeds is attention seeking and some might argue that it dilutes the power of the good deed.  

If you do something good so that you can get public recognition does that make the goodness of that deed less potent?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I'm not going to be so dishonest as to say that the it didn't feel awesome to have so much good happen from a simple Facebook invitation and blog post.  I'm human.  Words of Affirmation is one of my love languages.  But, in the end, it really wasn't about me and my own struggles anymore.  As I compiled the list of all of the good that happened in the span of 24 hours, I was completely moved by emotion.  This is the world I believe in and the world that I want to make ready for my amazing daughters.  So, while our initial motivations may not be 100% selfless I would argue that if the end result is something as awesome as what happened yesterday, who cares? Many of our choices are driven by the desire to "feel good" or to "feel better."  I guess I'd rather people begin choosing kindness as their drug of choice instead of the less desirable alternatives.  

I have no idea what this means for the future for any of us.  All I know is that I liked how yesterday felt and I like the lingering effects of hope and optimism.  I'd like to feel like this more often. I'd like for all of us to feel like this more often. 

Hopefully yours, 

Sara Renee

My Birthday Present:
80 Acts of Kindness within 24-ish Hours

1. Caribou purchased for the next car in the drive-thru
2. Lunch purchased for a random person at the Downtown Deli
3. Flowers given to a random patient at the local hospital
4. Flowers given to a co-worker
5. Flowers given to me for my birthday from an anonymous giver
6. An extra large tip given to a server who was working while on crutches at a restaurant
7. Strengthsfinder codes purchased for friend with notes highlighting their strengths
8. Strengthsfinder code purchased for a second friend
9. Backrub given to mother-in-law
10. Encouraging note with small gift given to a friend facing a challenge
11. Donation of $82 of new books to a school
12. Coffee purchased for two EMT's in the restaurant
13. Dessert purchased for a random family of 5 at the DQ
14. Dinner purchased for a young family at The Crystal
15. Dinner purchased for another young family at The Crystal
16. Dinner purchased for a third?!?!? young family at The Crystal
17. DQ treat purchased for a police officer
18. Unexpected gifts given to friends at a scrapbooking retreat
19. Admission paid for a friend to get into a basketball game
20. Punch card used to let people in to the basketball game for free
21. Purchased lunch for co-worker who misplaced their credit card
22. Donation to Family Housing Fund
23. Ordered replacements for a friend whose packages were stolen during delivery from Amazon
24. $25 donation to a new parents who have a newborn with health challenges
25. Helped a friend transport a child in a pinch
26. Purchased coffee for two customers while at work
27. $38 donation to a worthy cause
28. Purchased lunch and favorite bottle of wine for a co-worker
29. Purchased an extra car wash to be given to the next person who ordered a car wash
30. Purchased flowers for mother-in-law
31. Paid for the tab when enjoying beer with brother
32. Donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
33. Flowers left on a random car in a parking lot
34. $20 donated to the Red Cross Disaster Relief
35. Purchased lunch for the moving crew moving a parent
36. Assisted an elderly woman into a store and helped her get the mobile shopping cart
37. Donated toys to neighbor (single mom)
38. Purchased lunch for a friend
39. Visited two homebound friends
40. Treat purchased for my daughter ;)
41. Donation to the Damiano Center Cafe for Kids
42. Helped purchase baby "stuff" for sibling who gave birth to surprise twins
43. Doughnuts for the crew at their "car shop"
44. Donated to Dare to Be to benefit a woman in need
45. Volunteering to babysit children at the Children's Healing Center so parents with chronically ill children can have a date night.
46. Donation to a GoFundMe to help a marine have airfare to be present when child is born
47. Polar Plunge donation
48. Shared umbrella with a friend and allowed self to get wet
49. Worked on the Para Absence Schedule at work even though it wasn't their day
50. Donation to a GoFundMe to help pay for surgery for a beloved dog
51. Covered sections of Phy Ed when a sub was not located
52. Purchased much needed caffeine for a co-worker
53. Made Hamwiches for neighbors
54. Made Chili for son and surprised him with it
55. Handed out Pencils to students as they entered school
56. Donated Clothes to CADA - an organization that supports victims of domestic violence
57. Made dinner for a homeless man
58. Made soup for the lenten soup supper at church
59. Returned a large check found in a parking lot
60. Put the toilet seat down and flushed
61. Allowed kindergarten students to give him hugs
62. Purchased kleenex for a classroom
63. Spread the word about the Kindness Revolution
64. Donation to Kids Against Hunger
65. Donation to a Fun Run for kids
66. Paid to have a case of Girl Scout Cookies shipped to Military Personnel
67. Donated teaching materials to teachers working in an area facing high rates of poverty
68. Helped a family member get connected with important resources
69. Helped sister move
70. Worked with 2nd grade students to brainstorm Random Acts of Kindness they could do
71. Purchased two $5 gift cards at a coffee shop to be given to random customers for their purchase
72. Gave an ice cream bar to their teacher
73. Surprised parents with lunch
74. Made an intentional effort to be kind and pleasant to everyone they met
75. Wrote a kind note to a friend
76. Wrote a kind note to another friend
77. Purchased pizza for the crew of people helping after someone's shed burned down
78. Paid a friend's parking ticket
79. Gave someone their cart at Aldi and told them to keep the quarter
80. Offered to work an extra weekend so a co-worker could attend her son's hockey game