Dress Code Hacks for the Elementary Educator
Prior to landing in this crazy awesome elementary school social work job, I worked in a high school. I loved that place and those students. While I'm super content and love where I am, if they *made* me go back to the high school I wouldn't be heartbroken. However, there was one duty on my long list of duties that I absolutely hated. I was the dress-code police. I don't really know how that happened other than I was a girl and the male administrators didn't feel comfortable discussing dress code violations. There were other women in the office, but I think because I have a particular knack in delivering bad news so that it doesn't seem so horrible, I got to be the dress code police.
This "position of power" is ironic? funny? sad? because I actually hate dress codes. They are almost always, nearly 100% directed toward girls and the clothing choices they wear and that makes my feminist hackles get all ruffled. Sure, boys couldn't wear hats or shirts with drug references on them, but the rules around boys' clothes don't feel like a jab at their character. Boys aren't told that if they show their bellies, they will be a "distraction" to the girls in the room. They aren't told that if they wear sleeveless shirts, they might call unwanted attention to themselves. I could go on and on.
To be clear, I NEVER, ever used those tactics when talking with the girls sent to my office. Usually, I took the approach of, "Well, this is what the handbook says and it appears that your clothes don't fit those guidelines. Do you happen to have a hoodie in your locker so we can both go on with more important stuff to do?" If the girls really struggled, I would assure them that the clothing choices they made said nothing about them as a person, but that there are different norms in different settings. We would talk about the clothes we would wear on the weekends or at a concert or at the beach and how those are things that most people wouldn't wear to work. My hope is that the girls left my office feeling empowered and respected, but it's hard to convey that message when you're forced to tell them that their clothes make them objects. *sigh* We have a lot of work to do in this world....
When I transitioned to the elementary school, I thought I would never have to discuss dress code again. I was wrong. When it comes to elementary students, we say things like, "Please make sure you don't tuck your skirt into your tights" and "Yes, you do have to wear hats and mittens when it is 25 degrees outside" and "No, you may not wear a Ninja turtle mask or princess dress on normal school days." Yes, we still have to address the importance of appropriate dress at school with our students, but the biggest conversations around dress code have actually been regarding what teachers should wear at school. There are debates around denim, t-shirts, spirit wear and whether or not some people can dress less "professionally" than others. We now have a new principal in our school and she issued an official decree that outlined appropriate professional dress and the debate was renewed.
Now, I have stayed out of that fray because being the dress code police at the high school scarred me for life and because I don't care enough about it to have a strong opinion. While I don't have a strong opinion, it's clear that some of my colleagues do and I spent some time this weekend wondering why it always becomes such a hot topic. I don't think I work with anyone who would argue that we should go to school wearing our pj's (unless it's pajama day on the Kindergarten letter calendar, of course). I can honestly say that I have never witnessed a colleague wearing something that I found to be unprofessional. The big hang ups appear to be our attachment to denim and our need to be comfortable as we move among our students, often on the floor (little people learn best on the floor...proven scientific fact... Actually, I just made that up, but it probably could be proven).
As I pondered this, I realized that working at the high school allowed me to learn some good skills at working the dress code so that I could get what I want (comfort, cuteness, and even denim) without actually breaking rules. Thanks for the wisdom, teenage girls! So, for all of my friends who are crying over their Olweus t-shirts and cute jeans they can no longer wear, this blog is for you!
*This is directed toward women. I don't understand men's fashion and I don't think the men in my building get as hung up about the dress code. If they do feel distress, I direct them toward my friend Darren who has developed some sort of rotation system that allows him to wear a different outfit each day. He can mentor you.
This "position of power" is ironic? funny? sad? because I actually hate dress codes. They are almost always, nearly 100% directed toward girls and the clothing choices they wear and that makes my feminist hackles get all ruffled. Sure, boys couldn't wear hats or shirts with drug references on them, but the rules around boys' clothes don't feel like a jab at their character. Boys aren't told that if they show their bellies, they will be a "distraction" to the girls in the room. They aren't told that if they wear sleeveless shirts, they might call unwanted attention to themselves. I could go on and on.
To be clear, I NEVER, ever used those tactics when talking with the girls sent to my office. Usually, I took the approach of, "Well, this is what the handbook says and it appears that your clothes don't fit those guidelines. Do you happen to have a hoodie in your locker so we can both go on with more important stuff to do?" If the girls really struggled, I would assure them that the clothing choices they made said nothing about them as a person, but that there are different norms in different settings. We would talk about the clothes we would wear on the weekends or at a concert or at the beach and how those are things that most people wouldn't wear to work. My hope is that the girls left my office feeling empowered and respected, but it's hard to convey that message when you're forced to tell them that their clothes make them objects. *sigh* We have a lot of work to do in this world....
When I transitioned to the elementary school, I thought I would never have to discuss dress code again. I was wrong. When it comes to elementary students, we say things like, "Please make sure you don't tuck your skirt into your tights" and "Yes, you do have to wear hats and mittens when it is 25 degrees outside" and "No, you may not wear a Ninja turtle mask or princess dress on normal school days." Yes, we still have to address the importance of appropriate dress at school with our students, but the biggest conversations around dress code have actually been regarding what teachers should wear at school. There are debates around denim, t-shirts, spirit wear and whether or not some people can dress less "professionally" than others. We now have a new principal in our school and she issued an official decree that outlined appropriate professional dress and the debate was renewed.
Now, I have stayed out of that fray because being the dress code police at the high school scarred me for life and because I don't care enough about it to have a strong opinion. While I don't have a strong opinion, it's clear that some of my colleagues do and I spent some time this weekend wondering why it always becomes such a hot topic. I don't think I work with anyone who would argue that we should go to school wearing our pj's (unless it's pajama day on the Kindergarten letter calendar, of course). I can honestly say that I have never witnessed a colleague wearing something that I found to be unprofessional. The big hang ups appear to be our attachment to denim and our need to be comfortable as we move among our students, often on the floor (little people learn best on the floor...proven scientific fact... Actually, I just made that up, but it probably could be proven).
As I pondered this, I realized that working at the high school allowed me to learn some good skills at working the dress code so that I could get what I want (comfort, cuteness, and even denim) without actually breaking rules. Thanks for the wisdom, teenage girls! So, for all of my friends who are crying over their Olweus t-shirts and cute jeans they can no longer wear, this blog is for you!
*This is directed toward women. I don't understand men's fashion and I don't think the men in my building get as hung up about the dress code. If they do feel distress, I direct them toward my friend Darren who has developed some sort of rotation system that allows him to wear a different outfit each day. He can mentor you.
Dress Code Hacks for the Elementary Educator
- Knits are your friends. If you want to look fabulous and professional and still be comfortable, you can't have enough knits in your wardrobe. This is why every (female) elementary teacher I know is addicted to Lularoe. If you don't want to spend $25-$50 on glorified pajamas, I've found similar things at other stores....they just aren't as soft.
- Leggings!!!! If you really want to feel like you are wearing pj's but want to look super professional, put on some leggings under your favorite (preferably knit) dress, throw your hair up in a bun and bada bing! bada boom! You look put together, professional, and you may as well actually be wearing your pajamas. I can sit "criss cross apple sauce" all day in leggings.
- Stretch your dress pants. Clothing designers have gotten so smart. When I first started working, dress pants were all sort of stiff and easily wrinkled and not very comfortable. They probably still make those kind of dress pants for people far more put together than I will ever be. However, for the rest of us, they have learned to add spandex and rayon to everything...especially pants. When you're buying dress pants, look for those materials and give them a little stretch. If they have some elasticy give, they are perfect for you.
- Invest in denim trousers. If there is anything that I feel a little bit of angst about in most professional dress codes, it is the bad rap given to denim. For some reason, most bosses think that wrinkled, ugly khaki pants paired with a fleece pullover looks more professional than my cute skinny jeans paired with adorable cardigan/scarf combo. For those days when I just want to wear denim and it's not spirit wear Friday, I wear denim trousers. These confuse people who are obsessed with enforcing the dress code (note - these people are never administrators. They are the same people who notice if you walk into a meeting 30 seconds late, forget to replenish the paper in the copier, or drink the last cup of coffee in the coffee maker and then tattle on you about it instead of just addressing you directly). Denim trousers look like dress pants, but they feel like jeans. It's not the same as wearing my cute skinny jeans, but it's a nice substitute.
- Ballet flats go with everything. Seriously. Every.thing. Except maybe pajamas. When I was working at the high school, I wore heels a lot. After about two days at the elementary school, I quickly learned that my footwear choices had to change. You just can't chase down a quick kindergartner whose losing their cool in those nude pumps with the sensible heel. Don't ask me how I know that. Ballet flats are cute footwear that, if you buy the right kind, can feel like you're wearing slippers and will also enable you to chase down any student who tries to make a break for it.
- Give yourself the boot. Actually, you need to make that plural because you will need one for each foot. If you search "teacher fashion" on pinterest, almost all of the pictures will show someone wearing boots. Tall boots, ankle boots, or somewhere in between...they all make you feel dressy and sort of like you're wearing high heels without also forcing you to make an appointment with the orthopedist.
- If all else fails, use kleenex as an accessory. When you really need to be able to wear your comfy clothes without even the appearance of dressiness, just throw your hair up in a tousled bun and carry a kleenex box wherever you go. Your perceived illness will cause everyone to steer clear and find the nearest hand sanitizer dispenser. Their fear of your illness will distract them enough that no one will question your professional dress. I haven't actually used this tactic and wouldn't really recommend it unless you're feeling really daring, but it sounds like a funny and clever idea. If you try it, let me know how it goes. I'm too chicken.
So, there you go, fellow educators! If after this you still feel upset about the constraints of your professional dress code, just visit your local McDonald's and count your lucky stars that you don't have to wear those polyester monstrosities. Good luck and may your spandex be ever stretchy!
Uh, yeah, the aforementioned "Darren" here. I don't understand men's fashion either, which is why I have to rotate my wardrobe. Without my rotation I'd, A) wear one of the same three outfits that I know aren't embarrassing every single day, or B) simply resign my job and leave society behind, comfy forever in my t-shirts and shorts.
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