Angels Exist

This last school week was both short and long.  There were only four student contact days due to a workshop day on Monday.  However, those four days were filled with tantrums, tears, and behavior.  They can't help it.  Some of those little beings are carrying burdens meant for grown ups and their tiny little bodies and souls can't always bear the weight.  

On top of that, the winter doldrums seem to have settled into our school and infected our psyches.  More than one co-worker spoke of feeling anxious, tired, crabby, and spent and I was right there with them.  By Friday, we were all done and melancholy had invaded our moods.  

I made it through that Friday school day through sheer determination and grit.  Most days, my job is really not that hard.  What I mean by that is, the joy I get from doing what I do makes it feel so very easy most of the time.  The prep work is fun and working with our littlest learners is one of my favorite things.  But, Friday, was harder.  I still marveled over wiggly and lost teeth, gave pep talks to my wiggliest buddies, and gave as much love as I could to the little broken hearts that sprawled out on the floor, but it was harder work that day than it normally is.  

By the end of the school day, I was ready to go home. However, I had scheduled an after school meeting with a gentleman from our community.  He had read an article in the local newspaper about homeless students and wanted to meet with me to talk about it.  I didn't really know what he wanted when we set the appointment and by 2:55 on Friday I was kicking myself.  I just wanted to go home and I was worried that he would just want to chat for hours on end.

When I went to the office to greet him, I found an older man sitting in a chair fussing with his hearing aid batteries.  "Could you wait for an old man for just one minute?"  He fumbled around with the tiny pieces for a couple of minutes and I could feel the faintest flames of impatience begin to burn within me.  I am officially an evil person.  Forgive me, Lord, for my impatience.

When we finally made our way to my office, we settled into the blue folding chairs that were the only ones a grown up could fit into.  He shared a file folder with me that contained articles about statues of the homeless Jesus.  He asked me questions about why I did the work I did and what the needs of our students were.  I didn't know his intentions, so I blathered on about the lack of affordable housing and shelters in our county.  He told me several stories, some of which were not at all related to the topic of homeless students.  He was sweet, but I was tired and I didn't know what the purpose of this meeting was.  The conversation meandered around for about 45 minutes and I began to get antsy for the conclusion.  

And then this happened...

He told me that he had moved to our community a couple of years ago.   He had lived in his previous home and community for 42 years. Those 42 years were filled with lots of adventures and love and connections and he missed all of that.  He was trying to find his niche up here and had tried some things, but none of it was clicking.  He wanted to do something that gave him purpose and was feeling inspired by the article.  Then he said, "Sara, if I gave you $100 per month, you could use that for your students, right?"

This is when I knew I was in the presence of an angel.  He went on to tell me that he wanted to send me $100 per month to use for kids who needed "stuff."  Stuff that was necessary and stuff that was not necessary but would help a kid feel like they belonged.  We talked about snow boots and tickets to winter formal and and trinkets for classroom gift exchanges.  He told me that he didn't want me to tell him how I spent it because he knew those reports are a bother.  He also made it clear that if the school gave me lots of "ticky tacky" red tape to work through, he wanted me to let him know so he could talk to them.  He wanted it to be easy to access so kids could get what the needed.  And he didn't want credit.

In a world where it seems everyone (including me) wants constant validation for doing what ought to be done anyhow, this humility and selflessness was overwhelming.  He was not doing this for any purpose other than to do good.  He didn't want to be featured in the paper or have an award named after him.  He didn't even want to know what we used the money for. That was his other gift to me. He trusted me to be a good steward of his contribution.  After months of worrying and fretting that I had lost the respect and goodwill of people who had known of me for years due to things that were completely out of my control, this man who had never met me before trusted me.  

Our conversation came to an end and we agreed that I would contact him when I knew how the school wanted me to handle the funds.  We shook hands and I was left feeling stunned.  I made my way back to my office and began to feel the tears spring to my eyes before I was even halfway there.  In one 45 minute meeting, this sweet, gentle man reignited my faith in goodness.  I've never not believed it was out there, but in recent months it has just seemed so faint and meant for other people.  On this melancholy Friday, I was sent an angel and I almost missed it because of the worst parts of me - impatience, grumpiness, and insecurity.  

I am so thankful for the love this man is showing my students, but I am most thankful for the reminder to look for good everywhere, all the time.  

Hopefully yours, 

Sara Renee